yourbluehair

ive been thinking about recording music a lot. Im not too sure what my end goal is with it. was i expecting to put out online record after record? to experiment with different sounds and genres i like? to just do it because ive always have enjoyed music?

perhaps i think to deeply about a reason why. there is only an impulse/desire to create music and to make something i am internally satisfied with because it represents how i feel at that present moment.

it is like saying why does somebody love something? or why is some food someones favorite? there is no explicit reason as to why. a person loves something because they can not help themselves but to love that thing.

i guess i have no expectations then really. i think i would like to just make music that i am happy with. and that expresses how i feel. really right now id like to focus on making tracks that i like based off of some interesting guitar layering, with bass and drum patterns. im also interested in more long-form rock tracks with interesting transitions and arpeggio layering. maybe some basic synth work.

if things go to plan in my head with how i would like music to go, i think id like to do this for a while. i would consider it a pretty great achievment if i was able to put together a collection of tracks that i like. for an ep i would like 6 songs, for a record 7. really depends if i can come up with the one track id need for 7 tracks and also if i was genuinely satisfied with it.

i have zero ideas for anything after this. id like to put this music out under several different possible aliases: yourbluehair, mylastloveletter, or flowersunrain. i am almost certain on putting the music out under the name yourbluehair. but ive always liked the sound of mylastloveletter as a musician name.

now that im typing, it seems better to just do 7 tracks, call it a home recording record, and then wipe everything so that only the music exists on several forums and youtube. once i can write 7 rock based tracks as i described above, ill probably take a break from putting out music and focus more on experimenting with recording on my own and trying to find what i want to do next.

my intentions with putting something online is to capture the feelings i have had since i was 15-22. as i get older i realize my disposition is changing into a more mature one. i am able to face things with more courage than i thought i had. im smarter than i thought i was. i am faced with responsibilities that require me to push away regrets and nostalgia and to face them with an adult face. it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, but also it leaves me with a taste of hope for the future, as i realize i am more capable than i thought i was.

but theres a part of me that wants to capture the overly emotional and senstive aspect of my personality into 7 songs to put it into a sort of capsule. i can look back at that music and think: “back then, i was this sort of person, and those were the sentimentalities that i had at that time.” id love to not day dream about the past anymore, but hear my own music and think: “those feelings i had are in these songs.” and i would like to make more music later after and think the same thing.

the track below is close to what i would like 7 tracks for the record to sound like. this one is in a demo format. i believe this the 2nd version of the track. but i need to add a lot more like samples from my favorite tv shows and movies, audio clips from games i used to play, maybe quotes ill read from books or poems that ive loved for some time. the image too thats the cover of the blog would probably be the cover for the songs i want to make. just clipped shorter to have just her face with headphones. its from a movie ive always had deep feelings for. it also closely represents my ideas behind the music i want to make. a young person listening to music with their headphones, in their own private world, looking down at their feet while a vast landscape surrounds them, as if to try to escape from it all…

i am not that sort of person anymore and i dont have those feelings anymore. now that i dont i can look back and examine them and capture them in a more reasonable way. in an honest way with more mature sensibilities. thats the goal for the music i would like to put out soon. who knows when ill be done though. i am so lazy sometimes.