yourbluehair

personal blog

recent posts

  • update on interests and what ive been working on recently

    1. for music the the collection of tracks that ive mentioned in a previous blog post still stand as the main focus for music recording.
    2. for writing, ive been taking a big break recently (its been months and months) but im thinking of getting back to it soon. i haven’t mentioned it on this blog yet but ive been working for several months on a screenplay adaptation for the japanese avant garde novel confessions of a mask. i have about 150 pages of notes written on a word processor but besides that not a single line of script has actually managed to be written. if im being honest, i probably have another 150 pages of notes to make before i can start organizing a cohensive narrative. if i really locked in and worked at it every day, i think i could putt it off in one month as the way i take notes is just gibberish. its the organizing of the notes that takes forever.
    3. film watching. i haven’t watched a movie in a good while. i think the next film i want to watch is Eureka. its about 4 hours though so ill have to block time off to see it. thats fine.
    4. album listening. i put a blog post just before this about trying to find more records to listen to for inspiration. that can serve as this 4th bullet point.
    5. anime. ive always have been a big fan of anime. it surprisingly influences the music i want to make and my writing more than other writings and music. ive been watching elfen lied, kinos journey, and dennou coil.
    6. reading. i havent read in a while but the book i really want to start is sputnick sweetheart.
    7. gym. ive been trying to go to the gym every other day, and also to lose weight to a particlar number. im only about 6 pounds away from my first major weight goal so thats good.
    8. gaming. i havent played games in a while but my main goal is to at least complete persona 4 golden before the end of the year. ill just take it slow but i do miss that game. i want to play persona 5 and metaphor which is another big reason.

    im going to put below where i stand on all of these things and maybe make an update one week from today and see how im faring.

    1. as of now i have 2 tracks in a demo state that need a lot of work. i think i have ideas for 2 more tracks but i would like to have 3 more then going forward. im looking to make a track that sounds like something by pasteboard and one by myhairball. id like to at least record one more song demo at some point.
    2. id like to at least scribble maybe 5 pages of notes for confessions of a mask at some point.
    3. id love to set time aside to watch eureka next week.
    4. ill probably try to sit down and listen to one of the records i put in the previous blog post this week. either driving or when im at the gym.
    5. i havent been watching a lot of anime. id like to watch at least one episode.
    6. havent started reading but would like to read maybe 20 pages of sputnick this coming week.
    7. just continuing to go to the gym every other day. ive been doing good. need to be a bit conscious of what im eating ie sugar and desserts, also getting 150g of protein which is less than what i want but necessary for now as im trying to lose.
    8. at least do a gaming session of persona 4 golden. that is like maybe 2 hours?

    i think when i update this next week, what ill do is decide what i enjoyed doing the most and add more time to one thing / decrease time to stuff i didnt enjoy and also see what i actually end up doing and what i dont end up doing.

  • albums i want to listen to soon

    im really looking for more inspiration for the music im trying to record. ive been feeling a little bit lost in regards to having more influences. i just need more references really. the two tracks i want for sure out of the 7 take a lot of influences more from to see the next part of the dream from parannoul and banquo from bulssazo. but i would like to have 5 more solid records to reference honestly. one of them is definitly glitter from pasteboard and redplug from myhairball. ill probably work on trying to make 2 songs soon of a similar aesthetic of those. probably the first song on the redplug record or something similar and then the song slowdive or shoegazer from glitter.

  • inspo recently…

    i need to hear more records that are close to what i am trying to make so i have a good reference point to build from. im only confident on the first 4, maybe the 5th. i love the 5th record but i dont think thats what im trying to do right now…

  • my goal with the yourbluehair music recordings

    ive been thinking about recording music a lot. Im not too sure what my end goal is with it. was i expecting to put out online record after record? to experiment with different sounds and genres i like? to just do it because ive always have enjoyed music?

    perhaps i think to deeply about a reason why. there is only an impulse/desire to create music and to make something i am internally satisfied with because it represents how i feel at that present moment.

    it is like saying why does somebody love something? or why is some food someones favorite? there is no explicit reason as to why. a person loves something because they can not help themselves but to love that thing.

    i guess i have no expectations then really. i think i would like to just make music that i am happy with. and that expresses how i feel. really right now id like to focus on making tracks that i like based off of some interesting guitar layering, with bass and drum patterns. im also interested in more long-form rock tracks with interesting transitions and arpeggio layering. maybe some basic synth work.

    if things go to plan in my head with how i would like music to go, i think id like to do this for a while. i would consider it a pretty great achievment if i was able to put together a collection of tracks that i like. for an ep i would like 6 songs, for a record 7. really depends if i can come up with the one track id need for 7 tracks and also if i was genuinely satisfied with it.

    i have zero ideas for anything after this. id like to put this music out under several different possible aliases: yourbluehair, mylastloveletter, or flowersunrain. i am almost certain on putting the music out under the name yourbluehair. but ive always liked the sound of mylastloveletter as a musician name.

    now that im typing, it seems better to just do 7 tracks, call it a home recording record, and then wipe everything so that only the music exists on several forums and youtube. once i can write 7 rock based tracks as i described above, ill probably take a break from putting out music and focus more on experimenting with recording on my own and trying to find what i want to do next.

    my intentions with putting something online is to capture the feelings i have had since i was 15-22. as i get older i realize my disposition is changing into a more mature one. i am able to face things with more courage than i thought i had. im smarter than i thought i was. i am faced with responsibilities that require me to push away regrets and nostalgia and to face them with an adult face. it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, but also it leaves me with a taste of hope for the future, as i realize i am more capable than i thought i was.

    but theres a part of me that wants to capture the overly emotional and senstive aspect of my personality into 7 songs to put it into a sort of capsule. i can look back at that music and think: “back then, i was this sort of person, and those were the sentimentalities that i had at that time.” id love to not day dream about the past anymore, but hear my own music and think: “those feelings i had are in these songs.” and i would like to make more music later after and think the same thing.

    the track below is close to what i would like 7 tracks for the record to sound like. this one is in a demo format. i believe this the 2nd version of the track. but i need to add a lot more like samples from my favorite tv shows and movies, audio clips from games i used to play, maybe quotes ill read from books or poems that ive loved for some time. the image too thats the cover of the blog would probably be the cover for the songs i want to make. just clipped shorter to have just her face with headphones. its from a movie ive always had deep feelings for. it also closely represents my ideas behind the music i want to make. a young person listening to music with their headphones, in their own private world, looking down at their feet while a vast landscape surrounds them, as if to try to escape from it all…

    i am not that sort of person anymore and i dont have those feelings anymore. now that i dont i can look back and examine them and capture them in a more reasonable way. in an honest way with more mature sensibilities. thats the goal for the music i would like to put out soon. who knows when ill be done though. i am so lazy sometimes.